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Friday, August 27, 2021

The Elephant in the Room

 Hello dear friends,
It's been a couple months since I last posted.
First, I will say that I received my new laundry basket and love it!
On the way to Portland

Secondly, I have just had a sour feeling in my gut.
I'm not talking about eating something odd.
The way people have been interacting towards each other
nearly makes me ill.
Not necessarily here on the blog
which is something I've strived to prevent,
but without you all being "grown ups" about things
it would not be possible and I thank you kindly.
Before I get to my point,
I'd like to share a bit of a story.
The gal who has been my best friend for over 20 years and I
haven't spoken since January.
We have laughed and cried and watched each other's family grow.
We've shared struggles and accomplishments as good friends do.
We don't share the same political views which hadn't been an issue
for about 19+ years.
Over the past couple years in particular,
I've strived to avoid any topic I thought might get political.
That alone, the not being able to discuss things was a red flag.
The last time we spoke,
I began telling her about driving a 1 ton duely pick-up pulling a 20' trailer 
full of metal through Portland, OR which I referred to as Looneyville.
I still call it that actually.
They drive like lunatics!
I had completely forgotten about the rioting going on,
but I was quickly reminded and got to listen to about a 15 min. spiel.
I didn't really respond, but when she finished, I continued about driving.
I don't know how she felt when I didn't "jump in" and argue.
That was the last time we spoke.
I miss my friend.
I know in her heart, she is a good person,
but she takes in a lot of media, and it shows.

And now back to the  point.
We are being pushed to conform.
Being pushed to conform creates division.
I really don't care which side you want to take.
And I do not want to try to force you to accept my views.
Grandma Donna did a post and mentioned people feeling
"the need to be right."
I really think she hit the nail on the head.
I tend to withdraw and pull away when something is being forced upon me.
I don't want to just dis media,
but it's not healthy or usually very accurate.
What you state as fact could very well be fiction,
but we like to believe or back up what we think it should be.
I am no exception to that other than I purposely limit any exposure to media
and when I want information, I try to go directly to the source 
rather than a reporter.
Even that can be difficult to do.
It is fine if we believe pro, con, yes, no, up, or down, whatever.
But we don't even have to share our opinion let alone
try to force someone else to accept it as right.
I want to say that one part again:
we don't even have to share our opinion.
In an age that seems eager to take surveys of our opinions,
that might sound like a foreign thought, but you really don't have to share it.
There are so many much more pleasant things we could talk about.

I got some flowers on the close-out shelf 
that have turned around and are gorgeous!

The full moon was so bright the other night,
it was still light at nighttime.

Our "Heat Dome" finally broke, and we have normal temperatures
so my tomatoes are finally producing - yay!
I just did 12 pints of diced and 3 half-pints of sauce.

You see?
It's okay~
We can still be kind.
We can still experience joy.
It's good to laugh.
Don't be afraid to give a loved one a hug.
Don't be afraid.

And lastly, I'd like to share a little reminder.
I learned this when I was knee high to a grasshopper
and I'm sure you know it too.
It's called The Golden Rule.
"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

At one point I wanted a banner of that over our door.
I still like the idea.

If I've seemed a little absent lately,
now you know why.
I've not made it around to very many blogs lately.
I will try, but sometimes we need to listen to what's inside of us
for a little while and get back to peace within.
I hope this day is good to you 
and that you are surrounded by people and things you love.

By the way,
Blogger is telling me this is my 400th post.
That is thanks to each of you.
Thank you.

21 comments:

  1. I like that I can't quite tell which "side" you are on here. There is a battle going on out there. Maybe we can get away with leaving it out there. There is an essay from the 1960's that poses the question, "What if they had a war and nobody came?"

    ❤️

    "...and that you are surrounded by people and things you love."

    And to you.

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    1. I really, really think this is important and powerful:

      "What if they had a war and nobody came?"

      - Keith

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  2. "We can still be kind." Unfortunately, kindness seemed to go out the window with common sense. I feel sorry for the people who seem to be fixated on pressing their point. I think only an awful lot of insecurity could push someone to be like that.

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  3. Your blog post was right on the money. Ooops, I wrote the word 'right', lol. I believe you and I have the same political leaning and I don't like to argue a point either but as you read my blog you can see that sometimes I just have to express my thoughts.

    Was sure you'd love your laundry basket. Happy washday and with the heat dome here would break.

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  4. Thanks for visiting my blog and taking the time to comment, I don't have much to say for myself lately - it's hard work being interesting! I think in Blogland we are all trying hard to keep that connection with one another and so we plod on - your blog has plenty going on and I quite like that you are opinionated and have political views that pop out occasionally - I can totally emphathise with you ref the friend - my issue was in a different context though: I had a friend of 20 years who 'did one' on me when I called her out for fibbing (can't stand that) she had many times objected to my political views which I tried to keep to myself, but bigging herself up and telling fibs was too much on a phone call on night so I asked her if she was sure about her boasts and never heard again from her - it's been a year now - more in fact... but you know what - those people aren't friends at all, they are what I call disrupters - they stop you being you and undermine your belief in yourself when in fact they are probably rather insecure themselves. We can believe what we want, it's what makes us who we are! the world would be boring if we all agreed so in your case with a friend who doesn't like your views I say hey ho, maybe your friend will turn up again a bit older and wiser but it's really no loss for you - people who make us feel bad are not good for us :) I loved looking over your posts - the old wash tub is brilliant - so true that older things were made better. All the best - Betty

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  5. I'm afraid that your friendship was more than a little one-sided. Still, my condolences for the loss.

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  6. So true. Sharing your opinion if asked is one thing, but otherwise, why would you? Thank you for this post.

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  7. I am sorry that you have not heard from your friend. Life seems very fraught right now (external life, away from one's home) and to me it's a scary feeling. Glad to hear the Heat Dome broke. Very few have air cooling up your way. When I lived on Whidbey Island, I was very surprised that older homes had no AC, but I soon found that a good stove or FURNACE is what you want to make sure to have!

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  8. Ahhh, yes...that ubiquitous elephant. It truly has become a tussle these days, hasn't it? We have forgotten what truly matters and how to be kind. That is one reason why I have always "retreated" back to Blogland... I feel there is a level of more respect...if only "tolerance" here. I find it a sad state of affairs when we cannot speak openly AND "agree to disagree"... Mind you, I am NOT advocating pushing one's opinions down others' throats...but an open TWO-way discussion is so necessary to a healthy society. You are correct, though, about the overindulgence in, and reliance upon, so-called media. If people only spent the time they spend watching/reading the "news" actually RESEARCHING (and hunting down RELIABLE sources for said research) instead, I think there would be less division and more true exchange of ideas. Too many think they "know" so much when sadly most of us truly know so little. ~Robin~

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  9. LL - What a very splendidly written and thoughtful essay.

    Opinions are now being used for the basis of maintaining or rejecting friendships and relationships. Judgement is now passed on individuals based on what the believe around even so much as a single position - and as you say, in some cases after years and years of friendships.

    But the question I have been forced to ask myself is are such relationships worth maintaining?

    In some cases I have found that by not expressing any opinion at all, the relationship begins to wither very quickly. Discussions become banal conversations about trite issues: the weather, one's job, how things are going generically. There almost comes to be less and less contact, because there is less and less to to talk about. And the pressure - the unbelievable pressure - of not wanting to say anything that will ruin the relationship only continue to ratchet up.

    But it sounds like in this case none of this was your doing. Your friend chose this. Remember that. Relationships are never one way, or at least ones that last are never one way.

    The best we can do under such circumstances is to reach out and find people wherever they might be - and for many of us, that is looking more and more like The Social Internet.

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  10. Maybe when things get quieter, you will be able to re-kindle your friendship. I hope so. Take care Locust Blossom.

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  11. Yes, it's an intense time. I have been striving to do exactly that-just listen without judgement and not force my views on others. Besides, they might change. Mine did. I have friends on both sides, but on person I know just started to get to me with her forcefulness. It felt so controlling. I no longer take walks with her. She wouldn't distance or wear a mask, because she was fully vaccinated and "the mask didn't work with her sun hat."

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  12. Just as Sandi said, "I like that I can't tell which "side" you are on".
    I visit a blog almost daily dedicated to a craft I'm obsessed with and at times the blogger posts nasty and insulting comments about opposing political views or political figures. I often wonder what the motivation is - it has nothing to do with the craft, insults perhaps 50% of her readers, and in the end nothing is gained - in fact, any respect I had for this person's skills in the craft is somewhat diminished by the nasty comments.
    Jenny

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  13. Thank you for visiting 'Simple Days' and sharing your kind thoughts. The Golden Rule comes to my mind quite often. I find our home brings such a peaceful and quiet retreat that I just do not find while out and about.

    Home Sweet Home brings such a peace to my heart. Our home is quite small, decorated very simply, but I feel such a peace in each part of our home.

    Our homes can be the one place that we have control over what we see, what we hear and what we do. I am so thankful for that.

    We love spending time on our front porch and our back deck with a cup of coffee or an iced tea as we sit quietly watching the cute little hummingbirds at their feeders.

    I find the sweet little pleasures and the simple little blessings of home makes for a pleasant day.

    I hope you are enjoying a pleasant day in your home.

    Homespun Hugs, Teri

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  14. Yes, it is a very stressful and uncertain time.......and it is scary not knowing how someone may or may not react to things. Sometimes, no matter how hard you work at it.......relationships can be strained. I always try to avoid political conversation always. Hugs to you!

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  15. Well said. I'm sorry about your friend but it seems like the current political climate is bringing out the bad in a whole lot of people. Canada has been known as being very tolerant and just plain 'nice'....well, not so much any more. It seems that the general angst from other countries is spilling over to us and it's terribly sad to see. I hate going anywhere and being afraid to do or say something that will cause a confrontation. You're almost afraid to drive for fear someone comes at you filled with rage over some minor thing.
    All we can do is try to keep happy in our own little world - be kind, be thoughtful, and considerate - and hope that it spills over around you.

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  16. The mashed potatoe squash is Winter White Squash. It was pretty good, and my fussy husband even had extra helpings. Much better for those with diabetes, and loaded with vitamins. I did save a few seeds to try for next year.

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  17. Amen to your post. I feel how I feel and you feel how you feel. I'm not changing my mind and I doubt I will change yours so why get agitated! I love my blogging friends because we are a supportive group. If I don't like a post I move on. Life is too short to argue. Wish you lived around here. We would sit on the porch with a cup of coffee talk sewing machines, gardening, smell the flowers and watch the birds. That is how life was meant to be.

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  18. A very inspiring post! Life is too short to waste on arguing and such.
    Wishing you peaceful and happy days!

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  19. I love your post today.......and yes, people are just so mean to each other at times. There is much to be happy about in this life and so many ways to enjoy it!

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  20. Agree, the world is crazy. I have chosen to live the same life I have always had but others who I suspected of being a bit off, have shown their true colors, including masked in a car alone, lol. Stay well!

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