Golden People

 We've had quite the schedule for the past month or two.

It's autumn which is harvest in our neck of the woods.

Last month started off with a trip to California for my grandmother's funeral.

She actually passed last year.

Her only request was a traditional Catholic funeral.

Well, it wasn't exactly traditional due to circumstances.

Her graveside service was last year, and we only this year

11 months after her passing were able to hold her funeral.

In a way, it kinda worked out.

She was 96, only a few months shy of 97 and was ready.

Our grieving was done, and we were able to gather

and celebrate her life and cherish the time spent with family.

It was a pretty small service.

She outlived most of her peers.

My aunt had asked us each to jot down a few things we remembered

or loved about her so they could put together a eulogy.

One of the things I mentioned was

she would wipe off and reuse a paper plate, save a tablespoon of food,

and be among the first to give if someone was in need.

I love that!

She always took care of her things.

She washed her car, windows, floors, etc. and

kept things in the best condition she could.

She grew up during the depression so knew the true value of things.

She never had a lot, but made the most of what she had.

When my aunt asked if there was anything in particular I wanted,

I didn't really have an answer - just my Grammy.

My aunt is wonderful, and I can say such things.

I told her if there was something silly like Grams favorite wooden spoon

or something she used and liked, I wouldn't mind something like that.

For my birthday, she sent me the fork and knife in the photo.

It was actually my great grandmother's then my grandmother's.

Both were very right handed so the left tine is worn.

I was young when she passed, but I remember my great grandma too.

I would sit on her lap, and she would let me have a lemon drop.

We almost never had candy so it was quite a treat.

This little set was the perfect gift, more valuable to me than gold.

And, yep, I use them.

They went directly in the cupboard with the salt and pepper

so I have them handy when I need them.

(Uncle Ray & Aunt Betty - brother and sister)

They are a wonderful reminder to me to take care of things so they'll last

which is kinda funny since for the past year or two,

I've been on a mission to have things in order and good condition.

I've had two chairs repaired which wasn't cheap,

but they are both antiques and were due.

They should both now last another 100 years.

I always seem to have a mend & repair pile.

I no sooner get the bulk of it dealt with when more goes in.

I've also been trying to keep the car up, the appliance clean and in good repair, and

the little things attended to if that makes sense.

There's more to all this though.

You see, there were a couple folks at Grammy's funeral of special importance.

Well, everyone there was important, but. . .

Uncle Ray and Aunt Betty were there.

Grammy's two remaining siblings.

Uncle Ray just turned 99 and is doing pretty good.

Aunt Betty is 97 and doesn't remember very well, but otherwise okay.

Grammy was between them in age.

I don't exactly get to California very often

so it's tough telling if I will ever get to see them again just due to age.

The time spent visiting with them and the stories about them

are what makes a family and keeps those ties snug.

When someone begins a story with,

"I'll tell ya something I can't tell most normal people,"

you know you're in the right place.

I know not everyone has a close family,

but a closely knit group of friends and community can still be had.

I think that's one of the things that's been difficult for me

over the past year or so: everyone seems so distant (not just physically).

The reminder being, we need to take care of our family

just like we need to take care of our things.

We need our family - by blood or by choice.

If you do have elderly folks in your clan,

maybe pay them a visit or a call.

That chat might just be worth more than gold.

And the memory made might just last a good long time.

As we head into the holidays,

I'd like to wish all of my blog friends here

a very blessed time.

~Happy Thanksgiving~

Supporting Those Who Matter

 With all that is happening in our world,

it has perhaps escaped your attention,

but there are only 45 days left until Christmas!

I am actually looking forward to the holidays this year.

I'm not entirely sure why,

but some years are just different than others.

(Source)

We don't go over the top with decorations,

and we don't spend a lot on gifts.

It's more about the feeling~

the merriness and closeness of family

and kindness of community.

That's where I'm really going with this.

(It really isn't to freak you out about shopping days left.) 😊

Regardless of your opinion on the larger situations,

we've been pushed to do more shopping online.

There are a couple of very important things that happen

when this sort of purchase occurs.

The first is easily seen, and you may or may not care,

but everything you purchase is tracked.

There is a part of me that really doesn't care 

if the big-wigs know that I bought a package of quilting needles,

but there is a morsel within me that is rather creeped-out by it.

Thing two is that the communal connection that typically happens

between a merchant and customer is severed.

It's not impossible,

but how many times have you avoided a shop 

because "they are rude in there" 

or you purposely try a store first because they are so nice and helpful?

This year more then ever,

small businesses and independent craftsmen & women

need your support.

As I stated above, we don't do a lot of shopping,

but I have made a special effort this year

even with my online purchases to support "little folks."

Most of the events that usually take place before Christmas

have been canceled this year.

I know from years past that many of those vendors

rely on that "extra" income.

If you already know area craftsmen that you like to support,

you might reach out and ask if they have any inventory on hand.

My guess is they do.

If you are on social media and can ask for area vendors

to post a couple pictures of their wares,

even if you don't purchase the items,

others will see and possibly lead to a sale.  

This exhibits a kindness and caring on your part

and gratitude on their part

which strengthens your community.

Community is so important!

It's something that has taken a huge hit this year.

Neighbors are being pitted against one another,

and barriers raised both internally and externally.

If we each do our part,

even from a distance, 

our neighbors and community will know we care.

And that we care

is what is most important.

Especially as we near Christmas~

the day we celebrate because He cared enough to send His son.

Merry blessings to you all.

PS~ If you are an independent craftsperson,

I'd like to invite you to leave a way to reach you

in the comments.

For security sake, please leave a search name

so people can find you rather than a link.

 

 

Of Old Friends and New Tales

There is an old nursery rhyme or song that's come to mind lately.

It's rather short, kinda like Row Your Boat.

It goes~

Make new friends

but keep the old.

One is silver

and the other's gold. 

There are many quotes and sayings

advocating the importance of friends.

And I would venture to say, 

not one of them is an exaggeration.

We need friends no matter who we are or what our character.

I view myself as an introvert,

but I've been told by several employers in particular

how easily I speak with clients.

The thing is, I don't have problems talking.

(Just ask any of my grade school teachers:-)

It's the getting to know me bit that's a challenge

so my friends are real treasures to me.

There are those rare occurrences when you will meet someone,

and it's like you've known them all your life.

Those are the easiest and often the closest friendships.

There are also the friends that develop over time.

Those are nice in that there are typically few expectations

about what's ahead. 

They can become valuable in that each person knows

the habits and norms of the other person so they know well

just how to help or get along with the other person.

There are some "firey" friendships.

I'm not so sure those are real friendships.

And lastly,

there is a new kind of friendship.

Those found here online.

In a way, it's not really a new kind.

In years past, there were pen-pals that created friendships.

These friendships are a different kind of valuable

because there is no keeping up appearances.

There is no:

"I don't like going to the store with Jane because she wears too much perfume."

Or 

"She just walks so slow."

Or 

"I'm allergic to her cat."

Whatever.

Those things don't matter one iota if you aren't there with him/her.

(By the way, I actually like the name Jane and cats among other critters.

Too much perfume and slowly meandering through a grocery store

might get to me a little though.)

So what of these friends of different sorts?

What actually makes them important?

Well, you see~

humans are a herding animal.

I know there are some out there who don't take fondly to being called an animal

and others who take it as a compliment.

But we are creatures on this earth, and we were created with instincts.

Hubby and I were talking a while back, and he made the comment 

that he wasn't sure why but religious communities have lower crime rates.

The uncertainty was because people who are religious 

are just as likely to commit crimes from a statistics standpoint.

I said two words:

It's community.

He looked at me kinda sideways.

I continued~

Acceptance is what every person seeks deep down

 be it gang members or church members.

You follow the rules of what is acceptable in order to be accepted,

and you don't hurt your own.

If you break those rules, you are kicked out of the heard, gang, church,

community.

That's where those friends come into play.

Our friends accept us.

They still love us even if we snort when we laugh,

even if we spill down the front of our shirt every time,

even if we aren't super stars,

even if . . . well, you get it.

Our friends accept us for who we are.

There has been quite a bit of discord in 2020.

Communities have been shattered.

Families have been separated.

Friendships have been strained.

These things are more important now than ever.

I guess the point of this post is just don't forget.

I know different areas have different mandates in effect,

but there are still things you can do.

Leave a bag of tomatoes hanging on the door knob of a neighbor

then call and let them know it's there.

(If you don't have any to spare, just let me know.  I have tons!)

Send a quick note or card to a friend or family member.

By all means hug your kids and grand-kids!

The risk of them feeling abandoned, unloved, or neglected

far outweighs that of a virus.

I worry about the unintended consequences 

of some of the things that are happening around us.

There are ways to make new friends also.

There is always someone who could use a friend.

Ask a pastor if there is an elder who can't get out much.

A phone call or dare I say even an old-fashioned letter

can go a long ways in brightening someones day.

Or, a couple other ideas:

a nursing home director - sorta adopt a grandparent

a childcare provider or family member with munchkins 

(kids love a phone call to them rather than to Dad or Mom)

Obviously, that one would need parental approval.

Teens!  They need reassurance as much as any 2 year old.

The last thing they need is to hibernate in their room for a year.

There might be someone who has a family member in hospice.

They are typically exhausted and could use a nicety.

I really think most of you are pretty kind and creative.

If you have more ideas,

please share in the comments.

So all of this to say,

remember to remember 💝

 

By the way, I'm one of those folks who loves to do those little 

random act of kindness.

They often cost very little, but can be very meaningful.

Okay, I'll stop (see told ya I could talk.)

I just want to encourage folks to be friendly.

Have a beautiful day.

Earning Feathers

There is sooo much happening in our country 

and in our world.

Not to worry,

I'm not dwelling there.

Quite the contrary actually~

I'm not sure how each of you handles discerning news,

but I have to be cautious about how much I see or hear.

I think many folks are able to tune it out

or not let it get to them,

but it "gets" to me and bothers me internally

to the point that I'm tense and don't sleep well.

I like to know what's going on so I'm not in the dark,

but I don't need every detail of something that happened

on the other side of the nation

and that I can do exactly nothing to change.

Lately, I've been a little stressed.

There are always stresses in life.

Of course there are and rightly so;

how else could we acknowledge how great our blessings are.

It's not only been societal news, but 

also some wrinkles in our life that need a hot iron.

Maybe some of you can understand that.

Sometimes, there are situations that require sideways thinking

in order to come to any sort of end.

And with that, I will set forth a pondering~ 

The other night hubby ran across a question~

I might not have it exactly as it was posed

since I was not the one who read it.

There is a colored man who likes to walk his dog.

When he does, he will have one of his daughters walk with him

because he is fearful that he will be harassed due to his color

if he walks alone even though he has never experienced it before.

There is also a white woman who sees a colored man walking alone

in her neighborhood who she's never seen so she calls the police

because she is afraid that he might cause her harm even though

she has never experienced such a thing.

Are either of these fears un-based?

When hubby presented me with that,

I said, "It's the breakdown of community."

He hadn't thought of that.

Their fears are real.

I am afraid of snakes - just am.

No matter how much I know about them,

that certain snakes are good etc.

My heart races and I get "stuck" when I see them.

I've improved though.

I no longer scream, drop what I'm carrying, and run.

Some people are afraid of heights, of water, etc.

Fear is fear, but it can be overcome.

It is unfortunate though that such situations as the above example

are real anywhere.

The good news is, we can help it.

We just need community.

We've become a society of no eye contact

let alone words or actions or communication.

If that man walking his dog commented on the woman's

flowers or color of her house or just smiled and said "Good afternoon"

or the woman commented and said how nicely the dog behaved

or "What breed is it?" or a hundred other small niceties,

soon they might know each others first names and be able

to smile and wave with no fear on either side.

And actually quite the opposite of fear-

that is community.

If someone began to harass the man walking the dog,

the woman might step out and speak up,

"That's Jim and he walks by here with Duke almost every evening.

He's not hurting a thing."

And if "Jim" saw something fishy around "Mary's" place, he might 

bring it to her attention so no harm came to her.

It's a sort of protection for both sides.

And there would be a *unity* rather than a division.

And that makes all the difference.

Folks will pay a small fortune to insurance companies

but won't pay a compliment to an unknown neighbor.

The return of community is far greater than that

from any insurance company I've ever known.

Our year 2020 has had its challenges so far.

(to say the least)

So in the face of adversity at every turn,

I try to do something positive or find a positive focus.

I have been reading the Stillmeadow books

by Gladys Taber.

They are delightful!

They were written during and after WWII

so it's not as though they were written with no knowledge

of severe occurrences.

What is so striking is the element of home and community

and the positive attitude toward others and for our country and world.

Just this morning, there was a line that stated,

"Nobody is so obscure that they can not do their part."

It has become so accepted for folks to act with malice

that it really is scary.

If we act in good will, we might feel insignificant,

but just keep that in mind - 

"Nobody is so obscure that they can not do their part."

It is a line well worth the repeat.

And now let me make a bit of a diversion.

Over the past week, I've spent a little time in the garden.

Have you noticed how Mother Nature doesn't seem to care

what sort of issues we face?

My tomatoes are almost 2 feet tall :-)

And so far the voles haven't found my onions or cauliflower.

And the strawberry plants I planted last summer

have little green strawberries on them the size of marbles.

The humming birds and house finch are happy.

The bees are in love with the mock orange that's blooming

and sending out it's delicious fragrance.

The neighbors got their first cutting of hay off the field

so the hawks have had their bellies full.

In the mingst of it, there I am tugging at the weeds,

letting my mind wander where it might,

being at ease in the blessing of a garden.

 As I said above, when I feel "yuk" inside,

I try to do something kind physically.

The other day, I vacuum-sealed 16 quarts of beans

for my mother-in-law so they stay fresh.

That might sound silly to some of you,

but it's the little niceties like sealing beans,

or shoveling snow for someone, or passing along a favorite magazine

that make each day of life a little kinder.

They don't cost anything more than a morsel of time

and yet are meaningful.

A few days ago, I had the doors and windows open

since it was such a lovely day.

A wind gust came up while I was upstairs.

I thought little of the front door being open.

When I went down stairs, there was a dove feather right in the middle of the floor between the dining room and living room.

I picked it up and admired it and set it on a little tray I have.

Then yesterday, I opened the front door to look at hubby's pepper plants.

There near the front steps was a beautiful hawk feather

so I picked it up and set it on my tray with the dove feather.

Both are perfect, clean, whimsical feathers.

They got me to thinking~

maybe by the time my time on earth is up

I might have enough for some wings.

So what if we - each of us - 

lived in such a fashion that we were trying to earn a feather

so that when our time is up we will have earned our wings?

Isn't that a pleasant thought?

How might our communities look then?

There are some good things happening right now if we only look.

Folks are finding home.

The yards and houses are better cared for now than in many years.

More meals are being prepared at home.

Families are spending time together.

And in general, people seem appreciative of what's good.

These are the things I'm focusing on.

Would be a shame to let them go unnoticed.

Just something to ponder~

 

*Old Folks Talking*

As Mr. LB and I sat drinking our coffee and chatting as we do every morning,

I mentioned how different conversations were when I was growing up

as opposed to what we hear today.

This stemmed from the mentioning of visiting 

some elderly out of state relatives. 

(source)

My family is/was a bit different than Mr. LB's.

I not only knew all 4 of my grandparents, but also

my great-grandparents, great aunts and uncles,

cousins, second cousins and so on.

Birthdays, baptisms, graduations, etc. created scenes like we saw in 

"My Big Fat Greek Wedding."

Anyone who would have seen my great-grandparents 50th

wedding anniversary would have laughed at how many people

we fit into one house and yard.

Like most folks of the time, my family was working class.

This branch of the family tree had a dairy.

When my grandfather left home,

he had a soup bowl, a blanket, and a clean shirt for Sundays.

They were workers.

Even though 'the kids' struck out in various directions,

they all worked.

This in itself is nothing unusual.

What is a bit unusual are the conversations I remember.

With ample opportunities to talk and discuss concerns,

the family was a community of its own - 

just not a geographic one.

I remember them discussing politics and

like any normal kid would look elsewhere for entertainment.

The thing is, they didn't all agree.

But not agreeing didn't mean that one person was right or wrong.

That's why they were discussing it.

Unlike today, there was no hatred in the conversation.

Differences were just that - differences.

They could still care about and love one another in spite of the differences.

I wonder if that is still out there?

It sure isn't what is reported in the media.

The other thing I remember is the sharing of advise ~

(good or bad, who knows?)

Weather it was the best way to butcher rabbits, which variety of tomato plant produced best, or why a pick-up gear might be slipping, amongst that large of crew, someone was bound to know something.

Even conversations I never heard, I knew about in the way of ---

Uncle Joe said that door might work better if. . .

or Aunt Lee said she likes this cleaner (Aunt Lee kept an immaculate house.)

All this said isn't just to share family quirks,

but to bring to light the fact that I don't hear these kinds of conversations

much anymore- not never, just seldom.

There is so much slander, one-ups-manship, and sarcasm.

I miss "the old folks talking."

It was healthy for a youngster to hear how solutions were derived.

I'm not a brainiac or world genius, but I am a problem solver 

and am pretty good at improvising or coming up with plan B (or C.)

I don't take credit for that.

I was taught by not only my parents, but a whole community of relatives

who each in their own way influenced me.

We do have a bit of a saving grace today with internet and blogs.

We can mention things like manure in the garden, 

grease under the fingernails, or a sick critter and not get looked at 

like we just sprouted a unicorn horn.

We can have a community of sorts.

The hard part is kids seeing the real life camaraderie, 

and working together, and laughter that happens along the way.

If you live someplace that they do get this, they are indeed blessed.

No amount of schooling can replace that.

If you don't have it, look around, you'll find someone - 

shoot, stop on by if you're in the neighborhood.

You're more than welcome to help can corn, split wood or whatever:)

And to all you someones out there, thank you.

Thank you for doing and sharing.

Believe it or not, 

reading about pulling lambs and turning compost is a comfort to "hear." 

Our Mountain Community

A few years back,

a member of our little mountain community

passed away

leaving an elderly widow ~L.

That fall, one of the neighbors

suggested we get her wood in for her.

(We asked her first.)

We did and have done so each year since.

Anything L. produces in the kitchen

is amazing, and she always

makes a supply of goodies...

so we won't run short on energy of course.

This year she had to be gone,

but we went and got it all done for her anyways.

There is another neighbor

who is 'slowing down' a little

and lives right across from L,

so we just walked on over and

started in splitting and stacking his pile too.

I think he had tears in his eyes~

(I'm sure it was just some sawdust.)

Afterwards, the majority of us

went to one of the neighbors house

where there was a big pot of chili

and pans of homemade cornbread waiting.

We don't bother each other regularly,

but we do watch out for each other.

We have a couple gatherings a year 

at which we all chip in.

It works out great - 

no one person is put on the spot.

If anybody needs something,

we can round up a crew with little effort.

There are so many places where 

the folks don't even know who lives

right next door.

I am so thankful for these

neighbors & friends.

PS: This was before the cold snap; had to get pictures from a neighbor:)

Until next time,
Nimble Fingers and Even Stitches